Catching up January 2011...

Kind of forgot about this blog until now. Been spending time putting pics and fun stuff on my tumblr and Facebook, but thinking maybe I should spend some time writing in this blog. So funny how we can play our life and thoughts out over the internet for all to see. I guess it is just everyone's way of saying, "Hey, remember me...I was here!" Gotta run and get ready for work now, but I think I will catch up with this blog a little more on the weekend! TGIF!

What goes through your head...

Okay, so there I was on the table...just a little out of my mind, but aware of what was going on around me. Since I was familiar with what goes on during an angio I was acutely aware of the conversation going on between the techs and Dr. Bokhari. They placed a catheter from the femoral artery in my groin area up into my heart. At that point they inject the contrast looking for the blockage. I felt like I was rigid and freezing. One of the techs told me that was because of the meds they had given me. At one point Dr. Bokhari says, "Your LAD is 100% blocked...never would have thought I would find that." Then he said something about going in and unblocking it. They do that with a balloon. I read later in my transcribed report that it took them three tries with the balloon before they finally cleared the blockage. At the time, I felt no pain. I was grateful for that. I remember wondering if this was something I could die from. I really didn't want to think about that, but I started thinking that maybe I should say a prayer. Then I thought..."Well, if I don't make it out of this it might be too late for prayer anyhow!" I thought about my kids. That was really difficult. I didn't want to do this to them. I thought about stupid things, like the fact that no one knew my password to my laptop. Finally, it was over and the stent was in and functioning. What a relief! I wasn't dead! However, at the very end when they pull the catheter out of your femoral artery and clamp it off it hurt like hell! I remember the cath lab techs and Dr. Bokhari wheeling me out to my family. The first person I saw was Danny. He had been at school when all this happened at the house. His first words to me were, "Don't worry Mom, you're going to be okay." That was such a Danny thing for him to say. He is always my compassionate one. Then I saw Joe and Joey and Dr. Bokhari stopped to explain the procedure to them and what he had found. I remember Joe asking, "Does this mean she had a heart attack?" Dr. Bokhari answered, "Yes."

The beginning of my epiphany...

Okay, so it was Wednesday, September 30, 2009. A typical day, just like any other day for me. I went to work, came home, ate dinner, and plopped myself on the couch. It was almost 8:00 p.m. and I had been lying on the couch watching TV for about an hour. I jumped up to put some clothes from the washer into the dryer and as I stood in the laundry room I started feeling what I thought was heartburn. Hmmm...I don't get heartburn! What is this? I tried to lie down on the couch, hoping to make the burning stop, but it didn't. When I started feeling the burning go down both my arms and up my jaw I decided there was a problem. I went into my bedroom and told Joe and Joey, who were playing chess at the time, that I wanted to go to the hospital because I felt weird. Joe said, "Really?" I then tried to walk into my closet to change from my PJs, but as I did I started to feel short of breath and a slight bit of panic set in. I started to walk back into the living room and as I did I told Joey that he needed to call 911. The burning wouldn't go away and I started to feel short of breath, so I lied down on the couch and waited for the EMTs. I knew I was having a heart attack. Thank goodness the fire station is right up the street and it seemed like only minutes before I had 10 or more fireman and EMTs in my living. I tried to answer their questions, but I have to admit, I was having a hard time thinking. They did an EKG right there on the couch and told me they wanted to take me to Riverside Community. They wanted to know if it was okay if they took me there. I asked them why I couldn't go to my hospital, CRMC, and they said it was because what they think I needed to have done couldn't be done at my hospital at this time. I was like...yes, take me wherever! Fix me! They gave me nitroglycerin in my living room and two more times on the ambulance ride to Riverside Community. By the time I made it to the ER I was feeling a little bit better. The pain down my arms and up my jaw had dissipated, but I could still feel a pain in my heart. Before Joe and Joey made it to the ER Dr. Bokhari, who is now my awesome Cardiologist, had already checked in with me in the ER and told me he wanted to do an angiogram to see what was going on. Of course I agreed to that! I couldn't believe I needed an angiogram, a study where they shoot contrast into the arteries of the heart to see if there are any blockages. I was completely familiar with the procedure because many years ago when we did this type of procedure at my hospital I used to transcribe the reports. We are in the process of doing this procedure again at my hospital, but our cath lab has just reopened and we are not licensed to do everything just yet. Joe and Joey showed up in the ER just as they were getting ready to take me to the cath lab. Is this really happening?