What goes through your head...

Okay, so there I was on the table...just a little out of my mind, but aware of what was going on around me. Since I was familiar with what goes on during an angio I was acutely aware of the conversation going on between the techs and Dr. Bokhari. They placed a catheter from the femoral artery in my groin area up into my heart. At that point they inject the contrast looking for the blockage. I felt like I was rigid and freezing. One of the techs told me that was because of the meds they had given me. At one point Dr. Bokhari says, "Your LAD is 100% blocked...never would have thought I would find that." Then he said something about going in and unblocking it. They do that with a balloon. I read later in my transcribed report that it took them three tries with the balloon before they finally cleared the blockage. At the time, I felt no pain. I was grateful for that. I remember wondering if this was something I could die from. I really didn't want to think about that, but I started thinking that maybe I should say a prayer. Then I thought..."Well, if I don't make it out of this it might be too late for prayer anyhow!" I thought about my kids. That was really difficult. I didn't want to do this to them. I thought about stupid things, like the fact that no one knew my password to my laptop. Finally, it was over and the stent was in and functioning. What a relief! I wasn't dead! However, at the very end when they pull the catheter out of your femoral artery and clamp it off it hurt like hell! I remember the cath lab techs and Dr. Bokhari wheeling me out to my family. The first person I saw was Danny. He had been at school when all this happened at the house. His first words to me were, "Don't worry Mom, you're going to be okay." That was such a Danny thing for him to say. He is always my compassionate one. Then I saw Joe and Joey and Dr. Bokhari stopped to explain the procedure to them and what he had found. I remember Joe asking, "Does this mean she had a heart attack?" Dr. Bokhari answered, "Yes."